What is a love relationship? Any relationship with love or strong feelings of caring for
another. In fact, it's almost all of our relationships. And the mistakes we make run the
gammet of all our relationships, whether with a friend, a lover, a parent, a sibling, etc. I've
been working with couples for 12 years. The following are the 5 most common things I've
found through my education, training, and experience, that people do to hurt their
relationships.
Mistake #1: We over-caretake. We equate love with caregiving and pleasing, and often
bend over backwards to help, care for, please, etc. We don't understand, and feel
resentful and hurt if our loved ones don't appreciate our efforts (or tell us we're treating
them like children, incompetent, etc.). Caring for others is great -- but we need to learn
how to not let ourselves caretake in unhealthy ways, or lose ourselves in the process.
Mistake #2: We expect our loved ones to think like we do, respond, speak, and act like
we would in all situations. We expect them to make us happy and complete. There is no
way another human being can make you happy. They can contribute, but happiness is a
process that you essentially create yourself.
Mistake #3: We try to change or fix our loved ones. When we try to make others be shat
we want them to be, we are in effect telling them they are wrong. Unless their behavior is
disrespectful or hurtful in some way, it is best to accept others as they are.
Mistake #4: We criticize them and make them wrong. I cannot emphasize this point
enough. It is the most destructive mistake of all. People are different. They think,
respond, and act differently. We need to be accepting, understanding, and appreciative
of our differences or we will destroy our relationships.
Mistake #5: We don't set appropriate limits and keep healthy boundaries with our loved
ones. We allow them to mistreat us. We don't express our needs and desires in
appropriate ways. We let things build up until we either explode or withdraw.
Have you developed any of the above habits?
Would you like assistance in creating change? I would be happy to give you a free 15
minute phone consultation to determine if we think I can help you or not. I specialize in
helping couples stay together in more satisfying ways.
My office hours are Monday through Friday. If you would like me to call you personally,
please leave your name and phone number as well. Thanks for viewing my web site.
another. In fact, it's almost all of our relationships. And the mistakes we make run the
gammet of all our relationships, whether with a friend, a lover, a parent, a sibling, etc. I've
been working with couples for 12 years. The following are the 5 most common things I've
found through my education, training, and experience, that people do to hurt their
relationships.
Mistake #1: We over-caretake. We equate love with caregiving and pleasing, and often
bend over backwards to help, care for, please, etc. We don't understand, and feel
resentful and hurt if our loved ones don't appreciate our efforts (or tell us we're treating
them like children, incompetent, etc.). Caring for others is great -- but we need to learn
how to not let ourselves caretake in unhealthy ways, or lose ourselves in the process.
Mistake #2: We expect our loved ones to think like we do, respond, speak, and act like
we would in all situations. We expect them to make us happy and complete. There is no
way another human being can make you happy. They can contribute, but happiness is a
process that you essentially create yourself.
Mistake #3: We try to change or fix our loved ones. When we try to make others be shat
we want them to be, we are in effect telling them they are wrong. Unless their behavior is
disrespectful or hurtful in some way, it is best to accept others as they are.
Mistake #4: We criticize them and make them wrong. I cannot emphasize this point
enough. It is the most destructive mistake of all. People are different. They think,
respond, and act differently. We need to be accepting, understanding, and appreciative
of our differences or we will destroy our relationships.
Mistake #5: We don't set appropriate limits and keep healthy boundaries with our loved
ones. We allow them to mistreat us. We don't express our needs and desires in
appropriate ways. We let things build up until we either explode or withdraw.
Have you developed any of the above habits?
Would you like assistance in creating change? I would be happy to give you a free 15
minute phone consultation to determine if we think I can help you or not. I specialize in
helping couples stay together in more satisfying ways.
My office hours are Monday through Friday. If you would like me to call you personally,
please leave your name and phone number as well. Thanks for viewing my web site.
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